Who Cares What People Think Anyway...
Stop Caring About What People Think!
You have to stop doing this before it sends you around the twist like it almost did to me.
My own perfectionism nearly crushed every part of my soul, life and happiness.
From the outside it was so hard to tell, because I look like I am the perfect career women, mum, I had a husband, children, the white picket fence (no I didn’t really) and I still questioned if I was pretty enough, successful enough and loveable enough….
The truth is I felt faceless. A nobody. My worth was dependent upon how much people liked me. I cared about what people thought about me because their opinion of me determined my worth. And when people liked me, I based all my worth on that – I was pretty chuffed with myself.
Why do we care so much about what people think anyway?
We care about what people think for a gazillion different reasons. We want approval. We want to believe it is our highway to success if we can create an image or that person we are meant to be. We are afraid of being boring and unliked. We want to stand out. Be memorable. Basically, we are afraid to let the world really know and see us for who we really are – just in case.
So all this caring too much results in our absolute obsession about the “what if’s” and causes us to spend way too much emotional energy and way too much intellectual destruction that could have been put to way better use.
Let me tell you if this sounds like you, as it was me, and if I can be completely honest, being free from this pressure, is a process of learnt behaviour and a constant practice of growing confidence.
As you do this work it is important to remember that you whether people like you or they don’t has no impact on your worth. There is a divine purpose for each and everyone of us which we have chosen and there are so many people in this world that will like you. You need to start attracting your people and the people who generally don’t like you are not your people anyway. Being liked or not does not in any way change who you are or who you want to be. This is important that you understand this because this is the radical shift you need to start thinking about yourself only and not caring about people and what they think of you. Give yourself permission to not think about what other people are saying or doing.
Start Thinking About What You Can Control
Our minds spend a ridiculous amount of energy contemplating the various scenarios that play out in our heads, what someone does or thinks of us. For the person who wants to get over worrying about what someone might think or not think, the focus needs to shift dramatically. Instead of thinking about other people why do we not think about ourselves instead? Not in a selfish or self centred way but of self love, as we can only control ourselves and our own thought patterns. We certainly cannot control circumstances, what is happening in the world and the thoughts of others. Freedom, which is ultimately confidence, is birthed when we project our efforts to be at peace and truly start to love self.
It is none of our business what someone else thinks of us. Their thoughts are their business and every thought we have is ours and no one elses…..
Figure Out Who You Are
Have you ever wondered why confident people know who they are and who they want to be?
It is funny you know, most people don’t know who they are because they have spent their lives moving from one accomplishment to the next, ticking off successes in life that someone has told them that they should accomplish. There is no right or wrong here and there is certainly no right or wrong you.
What if I told you that in today’s society, we are generally too busy for leisure, free thinking and hobbies which are the 3 essential keys to self-discovery. So why do we lack this?
To figure out who you really are, you need to put on your boots and explorer hats and go looking. Allow yourself to have self interests, do some things that your heart loves, do things that make you come alive, you will know what path you are meant for because it will make you happy. It will be in your soul. The person who knows who they are and what they want get to live unapologetically with certainty and confidence. Not caring about what others may think about them. How refreshing is that? The need to be true to your own heart becomes as important to them as it is to seek approval from others.
Go on, give yourself the approval to be yourself. To unapologetically be yourself. To express yourself. Know that the nervous, even the anxious feeling you will get means that you are starting to move positively outside of your comfort zone. Do not under any circumstances, let this stop you in your tracks. The world needs YOU! NOT another duplicate of someone else.
Stop giving these people the greatest gift you have, be you, do you, for you.!
Taking More Action In Your Own Life
Do you know what keep people from getting what they really want?
I know right, the main cause of overthinking is the burden of what others may think. Women want to be accepted and are wanting to stand out and be different. We want to take massive action on the things that really matter to us because we so often resist taking action because we don’t want to stand out too much because we get overwhelmed. Overwhelm is what makes us shrink and hold back. This is a cycle that we all go through. In summary, we over think and we over plan, then we remember oh what will others think of us and it stops us in our tracks. The only way to break this cycle is to Take Action and quickly. When you become a massive action taker, you continue the momentum moving forward even if you do not feel ready. Action leads to results and it teaches us great lessons in how to trust ourselves.
When your energy is focused on action, it frees you from what others think. It is really hard to think about people when you care more about taking action on what matters to you and what you need to do to move that needle forward.